


Hindsight

by invisible_nobody



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Season/Series 13, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:59:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_nobody/pseuds/invisible_nobody
Summary: Castiel should have told Dean years ago.





	Hindsight

He should have told him.

He’s meant to do it for years. There was just never a right time. Something was always getting in his way. Mistakes, death, or potential apocalypses.

It would make for a good movie, he thought. Humans always found entertainment in telling stories of other people’s pain. However, those stories usually had a happy ending.

Sam and Dean’s story never seemed to have one.

Castiel sighed. He’s waited too long, again. Being busy, being angry, was just a lame excuse compared to their current situation. It made him nostalgic for the original apocalypse; a point he never thought he’d reach.

Now, who knew if he’d ever get to say it? The lump in Castiel’s throat refused to go away. Hours later, drunk and tired, he’s still replaying everything in his mind. There had to be an alternate ending. There was always another way.

But it was too late. Nothing could be taken back. Dean had made his decision. After all these years, after all this time of being in the clear, Dean had said it.

And Cas couldn’t stop him; Cas had given everything to stop him. Still, nine years later, it finally happened. Michael had been right.

Dean said, “Yes”, after all.

Castiel should have said it years ago. Seeing himself in the Apocalypse World, what he would have become without Dean, was such a wake-up call. That was the final push. He was beyond thankful. He was scared. But he  _ was _ going to say it.

Once Lucifer was gone.

Well, now he was gone, and so was Dean.

The despair, the fear, he felt now...unmatched. All he could do was drink and stare. His body felt numb, save for the pain in his chest. He couldn’t do anything else, he didn’t  _ care  _ about anything else.

Only two other emotions came close to what he was feeling: first, being his attitude towards himself, and his life. Some days… some days he wished he was…

The other emotion, the strongest of them all was-

Castiel should have told Dean years ago that he loved him.


End file.
